I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
