So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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