Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
