its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
