so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
