I think my fart just growled at me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
