u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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