I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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