i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
