I wanna passion pit in your ass
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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