I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
