What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
