I want to make a zoo with you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
