you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ugly people sure do ruin things
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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