my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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