I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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