I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
