Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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