I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
