She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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