then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
