She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
