do herpes really smell.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
