I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
