People in love make me want to vomit
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
