I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
