What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
