He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize