This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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