I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
