Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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