He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
