is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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