So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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