i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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