i already hear my dad disowning me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
