How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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