It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
