I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
