The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
