Moan for me like Helen Keller
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
