Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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