You smell like stripper and shame
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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