My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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