My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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