What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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