New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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