his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize