Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
