I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
