is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
