your thong is hanging out like whoa
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
