He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
