Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
