Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm passing your future prison.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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