We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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