Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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