he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
