What a fucking waste of an outfit
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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